WRITTEN BY DR. RENEE BRUSH & LINDA E-F

Have you ever seen the Grand Canyon? My dad took us there one year on our summer vacation. The canyon itself is 277 miles long, up to 18 miles wide, and a mile deep (National Park Service, October 27, 2021). I remember standing on the rim and staring out over the vastness of it in complete awe. I know now, looking back, that I was connected to God as I was standing there. I could not even begin to fathom how something so spectacular could be created. 

And you know how it was created? The simplest answer is: The Colorado River. A flat plateau was created between 70 and 30 million years ago by the shifting land (known as plate tectonics), which allowed the Colorado River to begin its work (National Park Service, March 10, 2022). Between 5-6 million years ago, the river carved out the sedimentary rock, causing the river to become deeper and the sides of the banks to become wider. 

Rivers are powerful beings, if we can think of them for just a few moments as active agents in our world. As the water flows, it scrapes against the banks, causing dirt to loosen, dislodge, and flow with the water. With time, that scraping begins to change the shape of the banks. It can make the width of the river grow wider or change the shape of the bank, causing it to bend in places where it did not bend before or changing the direction of the river. As you might imagine, it is not a quick or an easy process. It can take YEARS - decades, even centuries. 

So what does this have to do with healing from trauma?

In this analogy, the river is the healing work we do and the banks and earth around the river are the beliefs and behavioral patterns learned from trauma we have experienced in our life. The earth has built up and it is solid, difficult to move. Maybe it feels like rock or stone to you. Perhaps it feels like the size of a mountain. No matter how it feels to you, van der Kolk (2015) describes research that provides significant evidence that trauma alters the nervous system and the brain, and, if left untreated, stays in the body. In fact, the average time between initial mental health symptoms and seeking mental health care is 11 years (NAMI, 2022). This is nowhere near the millions of years it took to create the Grand Canyon, but it is long enough for certain patterns to become embedded and difficult to treat. 

If you are reading this post, perhaps you have heard the whisper that you need some help. That it is time to do your healing. It is time to seek support and start undoing the damage that has been caused. It does not matter why you seek this out. But, once you seek it out, it is like rain has been introduced to the landscape of your trauma, like a monsoon. And it creates this river that flows through you. 

Initially, this river will move only the land that is loose and easy to move. So you begin to feel this instant relief as the water begins to flow through you. It is gratifying and motivating, so that you will keep with it. 

But it is important to remember that stone or rock is not easy to move or erode. That work will take more time and a whole lot more patience. 

I really want you to take a moment here and visualize yourself at the edge of this flowing river and see how it keeps moving, sometimes quickly, sometimes more gently. And sense this inner knowing that this is also how it is working for YOU!

As you are paying attention to this, maybe you can get a feeling of which parts will take longer for you to heal. I can tell you from research and personal experience that the things that will take the longest are aspects of healing such as core beliefs about who you are, the ability to engage in self-care, and self-love, especially if these things were not modeled for you. Or if you were punished in some way for engaging in these things. 

I remember when I was about seven or eight, I was telling my mom about a peer who was bullying me - I will tell this story in full in a different article, but it is important to share here given what I just said. I felt awful about myself because this “friend” kept calling me names and I just wanted to feel good about myself. So, I made a comment about something I knew I did well. I was punished for it. This became a transformative moment because it prevented me from thinking anything positive about myself from that moment on. I could not even accept compliments because it went against this punishment. 

BUT if we cannot hold positive thoughts about ourselves, how do we heal?!

We can’t. So, in order for the river to do its magic, it has to chip away at those lies that were passed down to us. We have to become aware of what that rock is at the banks and then we start to challenge it. For me, I had to learn that it is not only ok but necessary to understand that I am allowed to think positive things about myself. That work takes a lot of repetition, just like a river needs days and days of constant forward motion to change the shape of the river bank. 

And that is OK! Anytime you are feeling frustrated with the pace of your healing, know that you are not alone! In fact, there are roughly 12 million adults in a given year with PTSD (Veterans Affairs, 2022). We will talk more about therapy for PTSD in a future post. For now, know that there are many effective forms of therapy that will help one heal from trauma (van der Kolk, 2015).

Also remember the Grand Canyon. Something so magnificent was not made in a couple of days. And maybe even visualize yourself at the side of that river and see the water flowing over you, doing it’s trusted work as it was meant to. Just like the Grand Canyon, which is still changing, you will keep changing and healing as well. 

References

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). (2022, June). Mental health by the numbers. https://www.nami.org/mhstats

National Park Service. (October 17, 2021). Grand Canyon: Geology. Retrieved from: https://www.nps.gov/grca/learn/nature/grca-geology.htm

National Park Service (March 10, 2022) Grand Canyon: Frequently Asked Questions. Retrieved from: https://www.nps.gov/grca/faqs.htm 

van der Kolk, B. A. (2015). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. New York: Penguin Group.

Veterans Affairs. (2022, April 8). How Common Is PTSD in Adults? PTSD: National Center for PTSD Home. Retrieved from: https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understand/common/common_adults.asp